His Fallen Idol
by Dattebayo Girl
Summary: What is Matsuda doing in England, with flowers and a box containing cake? No Pairings, Just a semi-cute Matsuda story. Starts out angsty. Post-Death Note, so watch out for spoilers. Rated for my language and a theme of death.


This is for a recently made friend on fanfiction, Bialy, Who loves Matsu as much as I do, I'm glad to say.

Matsu isn't mine, or he would have shot Light a few more times… XD

And Light equals Raito, for you English peoples out there.

Warning, a bit of Angst here.

-

"You taking off Matsuda?" Ide asked, looking up from some paperwork. He saw Matsuda fumble with a piece of paper then quickly stuff it in his pocket when he noticed Ide watching him. Matsuda then laughed nervously.

"Um, Yea, I'm taking the weekend off to…. Visit some relatives. See you on Monday!"

"Right. See ya." Ide frowned, having been there when Matsuda bought an airplane ticket, so he didn't know why the man was trying to hide it. Ide shrugged and got back to work before realizing Matsuda's ticket had him going to England, did he honestly have family members there? Well, Ide had no chance to ask, Matsuda was gone.

Matsuda really didn't feel like telling Ide why he was going to England, surely Ide would have laughed, or call his idea stupid, or whatever, Matsuda really didn't want to hear it. The brisk November winds made him hurry off to his car. November had always brought up the touchy subject of 2 men who were willing to do nearly anything to catch each other in the name of justice. Of course, November always led to January, and for Matsuda, January always made him think of Raito. He had been dead for almost 2 years now.

Raito Yagami. The name still burned in his heart.

The 'top student of Japan' had been a death of a lot of people, good and bad. He had been the death of his father. He had been the death of L. He had almost been the death of Matsuda's sanity.

Matsuda took a deep breath, his hands tight on the steering wheel of his car. "Ok." He said to himself "You can do this." And mentally winced when he heard his voice shake slightly. With a sigh and a mutter of "I'm gonna miss my flight" he hesitantly started his car, and drove away.

He, out of anyone else in the group besides possibly his father, had trusted in Raito completely, while everyone else had the common sense to doubt. Matsuda was shocked, horrified, and ashamed when Near so bluntly uncovered the truth. He had trusted… had completely trusted him, yet Raito was ready to kill him. When the tables had turned, Raito had tried some bull and told Matsuda, one of the very people he tried to kill, to shoot all the others. It made the detective sick how Raito could change so many times in one moment.

Matsuda parked and walked in his home, almost in a daze of remembrance. He grabbed his suitcase and another box and placed both on his bed. His suitcase was already packed, but the second box was empty for the most part. He reluctantly drew his gun, and after staring at it for a few moments, placed it in the box before locking the gun up nice and tight, and putting the box underneath the bed with the utmost care. He desperately wished he could take his gun, but he knows he wouldn't get very far in the airport with it, so once, he was going to have to go without. He took his suitcase and caught a cab.

A few days after the Yellow Box, He ran into Misa. He must admit, he was afraid of opening his mouth. He wasn't supposed to say anything until the case was completely closed. Besides, he couldn't bare to talk to any of the women who's lives were ruined by Kira. His mother, his sister… his wife. All left behind. They found out he was dead eventually, but never that he was Kira, so it came as a grim surprise that Misa had killed herself, a few weeks after the one year mark of Raito's death. He honestly thought that she had gotten better but…

His luggage in the correct place at the airport, he boarded the plane. He got a seat next to the window, gazing not at the clouds, but rather past them. Soon he would be miles high without a gun and barely a prayer of surviving should something happen. It wasn't the best feeling in the world.

The Yagami's were like family to him. His family wasn't big on support, they were never there for him, so the Yagami's seemed like the perfect family, smart son, cute daughter, strong father, and the ever supporting mother. The family was shattered to pieces, Matsuda along with them. Everyday life was frustrating. Nights with friends and family turned into nights at the shooting range, of just a couple of strong drinks. Nothing seemed to help.

Hours later, Matsuda was reunited with his items, and checked into a small hotel. He sat down at a little desk, and pulled out a small map he had along with him. He circled the hotel with the map, then drew a line to a shop, circling the shop too. He then drew a line to another shop, then, after circling that shop, drew a line to a cemetery. He looked over the map again, and pocketing a Japanese-English dictionary (He, out of anyone on the taskforce had issues speaking the language the most) was on his way. Matsuda felt more uncomfortable with every moment that past. Was he really about to do this?

Matsuda… He felt like he needed to quit the police force. It wasn't that he was afraid of it, he just no longer felt cut out for the job. When he gave Aizawa his papers of resignation, the new chief gave him a long unreadable look before merely ripping the papers in half, and calling him an idiot for not talking to him first. Then he, Ide, Mogi did a sort of intervention when Matsuda tried to hand in the papers again. They made Matsuda realize why he had become a detective. He liked to protect people, even if he could protect himself. That was something Matsuda had lived by ever since he was a little kid, protecting kids like him from bullies, even if he couldn't really protect himself. (Sounds familiar huh? Only difference is that Matsu didn't become a lawyer/potential rapist of his Kami. XD off topic, back to the story we go!)

He stopped by the first shop and looked around, wondering if this man ever said something about what type of flowers he liked. 'Besides candy flowers' Matsu thought with a little laugh. Shortly after, he sighed in defeat, and bought the most colorful bouquet he could. While black and white flowers made the border, a burst of blues and greens, reds and yellows lie in the middle. The Next shop was a bakery. He looked around until he found the simple white cake he was looking for. It was plain and had two layers of frosting, with a strawberry sitting on top. He bought two slices and headed off for his final destination.

Soon after the Yellow Box 'incident', Touta Matsuda was not the same. Every time he became nervous, his hand gingerly touched his gun, and Aizawa, worried for him and his wavering sanity, told him to go speak with a counselor. After a bit of arguing, Aizawa admitted that he had talked to a counselor too, and convinced Matsuda to go. Of course, Matsuda had to keep the Kira case details to a below-zero-minimum, so the even though the counselor had tried to help, he could not get the important details he needed to truly help this poor cop.

"Say Matsuda?" The man asked during one of their sessions. "Do you have an Idol?"

Matsuda nodded glumly.

"Was he a man on the force? Key word, _was_?"

Matsuda didn't know if he could answer this, but deeming the question safe, he nodded. "'Was' is exactly the word. He died during a very important case."

"Then go talk to him Matsuda."

The detective looked at the counselor bewildered. "Talk to him?"

"Just trust me Matsu and go talk to him."

Matsuda sat awkwardly on the ground, the giant cross gravestone seemingly staring down at him. After a bit of hesitation, the man started to speak. "Hey, uh, L." He paused slightly. "Or Ryuuzaki." He lay the flowers on the grave. "I'm not sure what color or kind of flower you liked…. So I … just got different kinds…" He then opened the white box that sat in his lap. "I also got us a piece of cake each, see?" He put the box down with the plastic fork on top in front of the grave, then his eyebrows furrowed and his frowned deepened considerably. "What am I doing?!" He wailed to himself. He then stood up. "I knew this was a stupid idea…" He could see it clear in his mind, L calling him and idiot for speaking to a dead person…

Matsuda got to the cemetery entrance, when he remembered he had forgotten the cake by L's grave. He had thoughts about leaving it, but then imagined animals messing up the man's grave, just for a slice of cake. "And it would be my fault…" With a sigh, Matsu turned on his heels and went back inside.

The man in his mid-to-late 20's stared in shock at the open box of cake. One of the slices had a piece missing, both of the slices had the strawberries missing, and the plastic fork lay neatly inside, covered in excess frosting and crumbs. Matsu blinked at this, several times. He then looked at the giant cross, before sitting down by the box of cake once again. "L? Can… can you hear me?"

He was answered with silence, but the silence wasn't as empty as it should have been. It caused Matsuda to smile slightly, rubbing the back of his head with nervousness. "I bet you don't remember me, Touta Matsuda, A.K.A. 'Matsuda you idiot'" Matsu laughed, before taking a deep breath. "Someone told me to come see my idol, and well…. I hope you don't mind…"

--The—End—

Awwwwww, wasn't that sweet? I just felt like doing a story where Matsu is semi-serious for once, because he can if he wants to be. (exhibit A: See Yellow Box)

Reviews are nice, and if you like this story, just go check out_ Inferiority Complex _By Bialy. Its composed of just Matsu one shots. Awesome, Matsu one shots.

XD and now for your random enjoyment, I shall now put random lyrics (and this is from a song, I kid you not.) (And don't bitch if I get some words wrong, it doesn't matter.)

_No, JKJKJKLOLOLOL, _

_I heart your fucking make-up, OMG I love your hair._

_Is that a new tattoo? Did that piercing fucking hurt?_

_No, JKJKJKLOLOLOL._

_We're not falling in love, we're just falling apart_

-((Fer Sure- Toxic Droid (?) ))

X3 Have a nice day, -Datte-chan.


End file.
